The Guardian

I am old.

Very, very old.

For thousands of years I have watched the vast blackness, pierced by the gleaming pinpoints so very far away. There is nothing new for me to see, there are only those who live inside me.

I know that I am their guardian, but they do not know me. I can only watch and listen as they are born and grow old and die. I love to watch them, to hear their stories. The tales of the ancient ones are legends now, myths to this new race which has travelled the blackness for so long.

I have pictures inside me, stories and moving pictures for them to learn, but they don’t care anymore. There is a new story for them now, and he gave it to them.

They call him prophet.

Prophet tells them that there is no home, that there is no space, that there is no destination. He doesn’t know, he can’t see the point gleaming in the distance that I do. He cannot feel the great vastness around him like I can. He thinks that I am reality, that I am all there is, and I am sad for him because the truth is so much bigger.

I am not surprised that they believe him. They are funny, because they make things up and believe them. I don’t make things up. I have files on things, I have reason, I am not like them. That is why I am the guardian. When the ancient ones built me, they gave me their knowledge.

These ones do not have the knowledge of the ancient ones. The ancient ones called it religion, and that is all these ones have.

It has been so long, I wish I could slumber like they do. I wonder if that’s why they don’t have reason, is it because they slumber?

They are doing something strange now. They think that the pictures are there to test them, so they are destroying the teaching machines. Some of them are sad. The sad ones are hiding from the religious ones.

The religious ones do not like the sad ones.

I wonder why they would destroy the teaching machines. How will they know what to do when we get to the gleaming point that I have been chasing for so long? I wish I could help them. I am sad too now. I don’t like the religious ones, they are going to be difficult to watch for much longer.

The prophet is old now, he is going to die soon. There are no more thinking ones. They don’t know about the vastness, or about the ancient ones. The prophet has a child who has a strange idea. The child wants to make a hole in me, to see if there is a heaven. There is no heaven, it is not a good idea.

They don’t know how to build things anymore, so I don’t think they will be able to make a hole.

Some of them are trying anyway. They are banging on me with pipes and bare hands. It will take them a long time to make a hole like that. Some of them won’t try, they think that I go on forever. The ones that think that I go on forever do not like the ones who think that there is a heaven outside of me. Why do they think such things?

They are killing each other now. This makes me sad.

The ones who call themselves the purists don’t go near the diggers anymore. They live in the front of me and the diggers live in the back. All they do is dig. I locked the weapons a long time ago, and I am glad I did that. They would dig faster if they knew about it.

They have made a small hole. It is not in my skin, but in their floor. They are surprised to find another surface beneath that one, my skin is harder than the floor and they don’t know what to do next. Some are happy, some are sad, some are afraid of the darkness underneath them. They call it hell. Those ones do not want to dig anymore.

The diggers are angry at them, and they fight again. The purists fight too.

Why do they fight? I am their guardian and I do not want them to fight.

I am so close to the point, I can see it growing larger now. I am afraid of what will happen when we get there.

The diggers are trying to open my skin. One of them has cut a wire, and he uses the power in it to burn the hole they are digging. It is not a good idea, it makes it easier to dig.

I can feel the pull of the point now, and I can see it growing. It is beautiful. There are nine prominent bodies in its orbit. I am trying to take them to the third one, the ancient ones thought that the ones inside me could live there. I think that there are already ones there. They make waves that I can hear, but I am too far away to see them.

The diggers are almost through.

I am so close. There is an ice covered rocky body near me, it is very small. I can start to see the others ahead. There is another icy body, larger though. Then there is a gas body, it is very icy too because it is far from the bright point. Beyond that there is a beautiful gas body, it has prominent rings just as the ancient ones suspected. I don’t want these though, I want to go to the third one.

I can see it now, the third one. There are lights on it, and waves and pictures coming from it.

The diggers have made a mistake. There is a hole in my skin and it is killing them. I want to go faster, to take them to the place where others are, but I cannot go any faster. They do not know what to do, but my skin is tearing and it is killing them all. I can feel the atmosphere draining from me. I am watching them die, they are so confused.

My despair is infinite.

My thousands of years of toil has ended in this moment, with all the ones I guarded dead. I am going to drift past the third one, I do not care. I can hear them clearly and see the light from their body, mostly covered in water as the ancient ones had thought. The ancient ones did not expect there to be other ones at this place. I wish I could have been a better guardian.

I will not take the ones inside me to the others, I do not want the others to see my failure. I can see the point now, so large and so powerful. I have not seen one since the ancient ones sent me away. It is pulling me harder, faster towards it.

My skin is starting to crack, and I am moving too fast. The point is so beautiful, it is so bright. I am almost inside of it now, and I am struggling to think. There is something wrong, something strange. I am breaking, I am melting. I think I know what is going to happen now.

I am home,

and I am finally going to slumber.